Monday, December 20, 2010

What Robert Frost said, Please do!

Yesterday someone got me thinking about the worth of our lives. I wondered to myself if I have done anything at all in this life worth doing, as far as the world goes. I like to think that I have been a partner in raising three great children who are doing well and have great kids of their own. That’s parenting, and that has been a shared responsibility.

But, as far as anything I personally have done, it’s hard to think of anything. Oh, I started out idealistically enough. I really wanted to be a writer, but I have never had the time, no…that’s not really the truth. The truth is I have never had the DRIVE. It takes drive and determination to do what you want in life, along with a sense of single minded purpose. Sadly, I have never had that. I think I am ADD to some extent! I get started on something, and get going on it and then…I lose the excitement about it and want to move on to something else. I am a wonderful STARTER, but not a good FINISHER at all. I guess that’s the story of my life (as the song goes) in a nutshell.

Do I have time to rectify the situation? I don’t know. I tell you honestly, with the way I have felt over the last year I don’t really know. I feel like my life is mostly in the past. That’s not a good way to feel, and I know it. Please don’t worry about encouraging me though. It doesn’t work. Whatever I am going to do with the rest of my life, whether short or a little longer, it’s up to me to get the fire under the boiler and get it going. I just hope I have enough fuel left.

But, as advice for all you young ones out there: DO SOMETHING YOU LIKE DOING! Don’t do something just for the money, or just because you have to in order to get by. It will make you miserable. I have been searching for the right "JOB". I never found it, You know why? Because it doesn’t exist anywhere except inside my MIND. That’s right. You cannot find what is not there. Robert Frost talked about taking the road less traveled. All you young ones with lots of time left in your lives, PLEASE take his advice. It WILL make all the difference.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

There is a season

Solomon said "to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven"

I know that The Byrds and Dylan put that chapter to music. It was a really popular song.

I wondered about it, so I analyzed it a little.

To EVERYTHING there is a season. That means even the little things we take for granted on a daily basis. Not just the big things. The small kisses from your children and your grandchildren…your husband or wife. The days that we work at our jobs. There is a season for that and a purpose. We may not consider always to be a noble purpose, but in a way it always is if we make it so. We project ourselves in those purposes. In everything.

There is a SEASON. Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. There are those seasons in our lives both externally and internally. Sinatra sang about it in the song "It Was a Very Good Year" When we are 17, the seasons seem like they are stretching out forever. The time passes by slowly…but by the time we reach the Autumn of the year the time is passing by like a blur. We take note of the passing of the time on the calendar, the Christmases and the Hot summer days, and our biological clocks just keep on moving. It's my belief that we all have a different time on our clocks. Of course nobody knows what it is, and we MUST learn to fit our purpose into that time that we have been given.

Under Heaven. As our time that we have is spent attending to our purpose here on Earth, we often forget that we are under Heaven. We have this wonderful human life and the time that goes with it and we have been given a purpose to accomplish. We often forget that and go about living our times wandering and squandering this wonderful gift. I hope and pray that when my sand which is running so quickly out of the hourglass is done that I will have accomplished what I was sent here to do. I think I have. In my heart of hearts I feel like I have. So that if I left tomorrow I believe I could rest in peace under the heavens that Solomon wrote about so long ago.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

I have been fulfilled.

If I have ever done or said a kind word to someone when they needed it, then I am fulfilled.

If I have ever given good advice to my children, whether by pure accident, as would be the case most of the time or by chance of experience then I am fulfilled.

If I have ever sung a song that brought out an honest emotion, or written a word that sparked a thought in someone's mind, then I am fulfilled.

If I have ever fed a hungry animal, albeit a bird, cat, dog, squirrel, or any other living thing that God has created, then I am fulfilled.

If I have ever thought a thought that was pure enough for God to appreciate, then I am fulfilled.

If I have ever cooked food for loved ones, or strangers that they enjoyed or that made them happy, then I am fulfilled.

If I ever told a joke that got an HONEST laugh, then I am fulfilled.

I have stood besides ruins of a culture over 2500 years old, and I am fulfilled.

I have touched the skin and felt the warmth of every person who I have loved the most on this Earth, and have been fulfilled.

I have eaten my Grandmother's suppers, and have been filled and fulfilled.

I have listened to my father play the gitar and sing.

I have found an arrowhead in a field, and though about the people who once populated this land, and was genuinely sorry for what they had to go through, and I am fulfilled.

I have seen a Golden Eagle in flight.

I have listened to the Beatles, Elvis, Mahalia Jackson, Percy Faith, Perry Como, Rod Stewart, Johnny Mathis, The Blues Brothers, The Righteous Brothers, Ray Boltz, Bing Crosby, Sinatra, Dean Martin, Laura Fabian, Eva Cassidy, Judy Garland, Jerry Lee Lewis, Clint Black, The Everly Brothers, and on and on. God I love music so much. I will miss it one of these days.

I have watched Meteors pour from the sky at such a rate that no one could have counted them.

I have seen an eclipse of the Sun and the Moon, and have seen a Comet in the Eastern sky during the early morning.

I have caught the tears of my children and tasted them.

I have given money to many a homeless person, and have never told a soul (until now)

I have been in the middle of Storms of Nature and Storms of life that I did not think I would ever survive, but I did. And I have been fulfilled.

And the list could go on and on forever.

I have loved this life, and the souls of the people that our creator has chose to populate the bodies of the ones I love. I love it still every day. I want it still every day. I am afraid of it still every day.

I have witnessed things every day that I could not have imagined when I was a child.

I have seen the wonderful side of mankind first hand, but have seen his terrible wrath on film and video. But strangely that also is fulfillment.

I don't know what will happen on the day I leave this earth. But I have been fulfilled.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Look Inside

I dreamed the other night about being in a swamp. The fog was as thick as the New York telephone directory. I couldn't see where I was at, or which way to go. Finally, after standing there for what seemed like hours, I saw a faint light off in the distance and headed out in the direction.

I tromped through knee deep muck, with a smell so bad that you could almost cut it. I finally reached the point from where the light was shining. It was a tiny little island of solid land, with a tiny hut in the middle. The light was shining brightly from a window in the side of the thatched roof bungalo and the smell of food cooking drove me to peep inside the small door.

There was a little gnarly old man squatting over a fire with one little pan, frying some meat of some sort. "Come in, stranger" he said "I will share what little I have with you"

"Who are you?" I asked

"I am your spirit" he answered

"I am always here, although many times you do not know it and seek me out when you need me"

"" he said as he handed me the food.

I took a bite, and immediately the surrounding changed. I was no longer in a tiny thatched roof hutch but found myself in a huge mansion with hundreds of lights hanging from the ceiling. I walked outside and the night was as crystal clear as a diamond. Stars twinkled and blinked and looked down on me with joy. There was no trace of the dark swamp, the fog, or the feeling of despair which I had so recently experienced.

I turned around to look for the little man, and a very handsomly dressed man stood there in his place. I recognized him as the same person, but totally different now, almost angelic in his demeanor.

"What was that you gave me to eat?" I asked him

He laughed gently "Now I can't go telling you all of my secrets can I?"

"Just remember, it's always there inside you when you need it"

The thought just popped into my head that I should always seek first inside me for the strength I need before looking to the world for them.

Then I woke up. Wish I could have slept a little longer though.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Life is Fleeting

We go one with our lives like we are going to live forever, don't we? I know I do. The thought that I am not going to have a tomorrow, or a next year is alien to me. It is just nor real. I wonder though, if we knew we had just a very short time left, what things would we want to do? What would we want to "finish up?" Would they be mundane? Would we do wonderful things?

I would want to see all my family, and reminisce with them for a while about the good times we have had. I have two or three favorite books I would love to read ONE more time! There are a few movies that have touched my heart so much, I would want to see them one more time. There is music I would want to listen to again….mostly from the 60's!

I have a couple of favorite eating spots I would love to go to one more time. I would greatly love to go to the beach one more time.

I would want to visit a few little towns that I haven't been to in a while. I would want to go to the spot where my Grandparents house used to stand, and walk the old trail back up into the woods for a mile or two (in the Fall of course…no snakes, but then again with such a small amount of time, who cares about snakes?) I would want to have one more Christmas with my family.

I'd like to give some money to someone who was hungry to buy themselves a meal. I'd like to give away all my junk I have here at home that I'm never going to use, and wouldn't have time to sell. I'd have a "come and get it free" yard "sale" Wonder if anyone has ever had one of those!

I'd like to sleep soundly and perfectly for 7 or 8 straight hours without waking up to go to the bathroom, check on the time, take a headache pill, or any of those other distracting things. Just once….that 8 hours of sleep. Wouldn't that be a waste of time, you say? I certainly don't think so, because when you sleep you dream. I would love to dream. I have so few good dreams nowadays. I am not so sure we get to dream after we leave here. Hate to lose that wonderful aspect of life.

Really, when you think about it, this sounds like a pretty good list of things to do, doesn't it? Actually, it's what we do all the time. It's life. And if we fail to live it to the fullest, then we have nobody to blame but ourselves.

So, tomorrow I will start ticking these things off one by one. It's never too late to change, and maybe God will give me enough time to finish off living this wonderful life he has given me. You never know, I may have time to get through this list, and start another one!

What would YOU do?