Tick, tock goes the......

Tick, tick, tick. That's one second per tick. It doesn't seem like much does it? The bad thing about it is that it constantly keeps going. On and on. Like Mother Nature's Chinese water torture device.


It's a darn funny thing isn't it? What other thing can you think of which can drag on so slowly, but whiz by so quickly it's almost like a blur? It seems like such a short amount of ticks ago that I was just a child. Sitting out on the old wooden front porch of my Grandfather's house and listening to his Kentucky influenced, Georgia Blue Grass, Back Mountain Baptist, Hoedown Revival Banjo playing and Back yard singing. Whew. Not many ticks at all.


In any case, Happy Valentine's Day to all of you out there. Hope you have many more happy ticks with your kids, your parents, and your wife or husband. Enjoy them, like the old Native American saying goes: "Nothing lasts forever, except the mountains and stones." Even those pass away after a while!

All Dogs Go To Heaven

There was a little movie that came out in 1989 called "All Dogs Go to Heaven" Basically this little movie was about a dog who came back from Heaven (since all dogs DO go there) for revenge on his killer.

I just always liked the title of the book. All Dogs Go to Heaven.

I am really sad today because my daughter's wonderful little dog got run over and killed by a car yesterday. Of course the perpetrator didn't stop. Guess that happens most of the time. This little pup was three years old, and had given me and my daughter's family more laughs in three years then a barrel of monkeys. That had to be fate, since his name was Puck.

One of his great little tricks back when he was little was to come and greet me with that wagging little tail of his and jump up on my leg and….promptly tinkle on my shoe. I have gone home many a day from my darling daughter's house with a sprinkled shoe. He kind of slacked off on that after a while. But, he was always a great greeter, with that tail just a waggin' and his little ol' Doxie face looking like he was smiling up at you. "Howdy" he would say. He loved people. That's kind of unusual in little dogs. He was a little barkie until he knew it was you, then it was "heya!"

He loved to chase one particular ball that he had. My son in law and the rest of the family would throw that ball over and over and over, and he would still chase it and bring it back. One day my son in law threw it until the dog was so tired he just collapsed on the floor. "No mas!!" he seemed to be saying between shallow breaths.

I used to take care of him when the kids would go off on vacation. The first couple of times, he made a total MESS of things. Wouldn't hit the pad, tore up his pad, sheeesh!!

But, over the months and years he got to be a real little gentleman, where caring for him in their absence was more of a pleasure then a pain. He was always glad to see me, and wanted me to stay awhile and visit. What a friendly, loving little guy he was.

I know that most people's concept of Heaven is that we are all going to stand around in our robes and gowns, and sing hymns for eternity. In my heart of hearts I feel that Heaven is going to be a more personal thing, like the Heaven that is portrayed in Mitch Albom's book "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" If you haven't read that book, you should. If that's the way it is, and I pray that it will be, then all my old friends I have had over the years, Old Bullet, and Whitey and Lobo will be there waiting to greet me. Oh, and I think Puck will be there too, and the first thing he is going to do and come running and jump up on my leg and wet my shoe! Thatta' boy!

Dreams

Our brains are extremely complex organisms, which are still largely unexplored in many areas. One area that intrigues me is the subconscious or unconscious thought process which takes place when we sleep. I guess most people call it "dreaming" There are dreams, and then there are DREAMS. I think they take many different forms and possibilities.



I surely wish I could remember everything I had ever dreamed. Sort of like having a little "hard drive" built in to my brain where I could push the "save" button every time I start to go to sleep. I also wish that I could dream some of the things I WANT to dream about. I wish we could dictate to our brains the "script" of what we want to start out with in our dreams, and let them go forward from there. One thing I really wish I could dream about is running. I would just love to run across the country, sort of like Forrest Gump did. Running on and on and seeing things that I have never seen before. Taking the time to appreciate things which I have never appreciated before. Chances are slim of me ever running again in real life. Not for very long anyway. What with a suspect ticker, and being out of shape like I am, it seems a near impossibility. So, I am stuck with the hope that I can have a great dream about running some time.



I listen to music while I am lying down trying to sleep, and the other day I was in and out of it, and I began to actually see the musical notes in my mind. I was listening to Enya I think, and on all of the notes I saw silver and gold patterns in my head. The chords were like sunbursts and moon glow. The voice of the singers, which was angelic in nature, flowed through my mind like a deep blue river, rushing towards the ocean. No, I was NOT on anything! This was dreaming, and it was the strangest and most wonderful dreaming I can remember in quite a long, long time. I wasn't deep asleep; I was just sort of in a land somewhere far enough away from reality for things to ecstatically good. I am not sure that I will ever get a repeat of the "unreal" concert. I didn't want to "wake up"



On a very rare occasion, I dream of times past and of people who are now gone from this life. You would think this might be more common type of dream. But, for me at least, it is very uncommon. I think maybe you have more and more of the dreams like this as you get older, because more of the people you have loved and known in your life start to leave. I dream of my Grandmother occasionally, most of the time in the kitchen cooking! I can still smell the biscuits cooking, and in the back of my mind I wish I had gotten her to teach me how to make them! My mind yearns for a trip back. For just one more day, as Mitch Albom has so sweetly expressed in his book. One more day to say things that should have said, but always thought I would have time to say. But, I didn't.



I used to help her sometimes and it was during this period of interaction that I learned a great deal about here philosophy of life. A lot of hard work mainly, but a lot of love for life too. When she had here 90th birthday, I asked her if she had it to go over again what one thing would she do or not do. She told me simply "Worry less, because worry never did change nothing!" It still doesn't Grandma, it still doesn't!



It's just a shame that we can't step into these kinds of dreams anytime we want to, and visit with our loved ones who are no longer with us. It's also a shame that we don't realize that some of the loved ones who are still with us now, may soon be a memory. We should tell THEM the things we need to, before it's too late, and we can only visit them every once in a while in our dreams.



I really haven't had any BAD dreams recently. Nothing which I would call a nightmare, or anything even resembling a bad dream. Most of the dreams we have, we never remember.



Maybe when I lie down tonight and turn on the music CD's, I will get lucky again and my brain will begin to remember that great dream from the other day. I sure hope so.

Thinking again

I was thinking about how hard things are going to be 40 or 50 years into the future. Coping is going to be hard. Living is probably going to be hard. I am glad I am 50 I guess, although I wish I felt like I did when I was 27, still had all my teeth and didn’t have arthritis creeping up on me. Besides that, I am fine Thank You! But, seriously I think my generation has been the "golden generation" even though we have seen some wars, and some other bad historical glitches we have also probably seen the best years that the world will ever have to offer. I hope to God I am wrong, but things look like they are going to be tough from here on out, without some wisdom. I foresee crises in water and in fuel that are going to wrack the world.


We are already feeling the pinch on water in this country. The drought in the South drove home the point that you cannot take water for granted. We have wasted that precious resource for decades and more now without giving it a second thought. I guess we thought Nature would clean up our messes. Boy, were we wrong. I think about that every time I drink a bottle of Dasani, or Propel. We had better get ahead of this coming crisis in water, young ones. Get into the game because in 50 years, fresh water is going to be worth more than gold!

As for the fuel, well that’s just mathematics. More people need more fuel. More people making things (read China, India, Viet Nam, etc., etc.,) the more fuel that is needed to make them. And believe me, right now those prenamed countries don’t give a rat’s rear how much they dirty the water or the atmosphere. Have you seen the latest pictures of the clouds of smog and dangerous clouds over Chinese cities. I would hate to be running a marathon there this summer. They better have plenty of O2 ready, cause they are going to need it.

I am trying to simplify, as I have said earlier and it’s going to get more and more that way through the rest of the year. Just cleaned out a lot of stuff yesterday and the rest is coming soon. I mean, why in the heck do I need 47 shirts in my closet?! I probably won’t wear some of them anymore the rest of my life.

Beans and Taters Again?

I don’t remember the Great Depression. I happened years before I was born. So much history occurred during the years between 1930 and 1950, it’s hard to comprehend sometimes. I know that the people in the Great Depression had it rough. My Mom and Dad have told me the stories of what went on in rural and small town Georgia during those days. But, I guess my own "Great Depression" came during the late 1960’s.


The cotton mill where Mom and Dad worked went down to 4 days a week, then to 3 days. We had moved into a new house in 1966, when the mill was on 6 days a week, and things had been pretty good. But during those last years of 1960, things were incredibly slow. Our most common meals were pinto beans, fried potatoes, and cornbread. The next day would be Salmon patties, navy beans, and biscuits. We alternated. Every once in a while on Saturdays it would be either hot dogs or hamburgers. I really didn’t think much about it though. I kind of liked those foods, and still do today. We didn’t really miss much, and didn’t know times were bad.


I didn’t know that is, until I would see my Dad with the bills on the kitchen table trying to figure out which ones to pay and which ones to put off. It was about that time that he started going gray, and I think it was from the stress and worry of how he was going to pay for things. My Dad hated being in debt, and not having enough money to pay his bills. I realized at that point that we were kind of on the poor side. It was a little embarrassing, but at the same time we held our heads up and didn’t let it get the best of us.


Now we move on to 2011, and I see those years are creeping up on us again. There is practically NO manufacturing in this country now to pick things up like there was back in the 60’s though. The dollar is about useless, and the Fed has lowered the interest rate so low that people with Savings accounts are soon going to be paying the bank interest to keep their money in it! We have wars going on, and a healthcare crisis. The budget is so far out of balance that we need a miracle to climb out of it. The Chinese practically own us, we owe them so much money. The only thing different is that I am in old Dad’s shoes now.


Last night when I brushed my hair, it looked a lot grayer to me. I think I am starting to get old. At least the kid’s are all grown though and I love pintos and fried potatoes!

Satchel Paige had it Right.

When I was a little child, I always thought I would grow up and be the best in the world at something. For some reason, it didn't work out that way.


I can think of dozens of things that I am adequate at. Some things I have ended up getting fairly good at. But that elusive "best" has always been out of my reach.


Obviously, at 50 years old I can now give up on becoming the Best dancer in the world, or being a movie star. I can forget running in the Olympics. The career in professional singing is out the door for sure, the old throat just ain't what it used to be.


I tried my hand at song writing, and novel writing. Not working out well for me.


So….


I feel sorta' like the theme song from "Cops" "Whatcha' gonna do when they come for you?"


Old Satchel Paige was an African American baseball player, who could have been the best pitcher in history. He was born before his time though, and never got to pitch in the Major leagues until he was in his sixties. He was still magnificent, even at that age. He had a saying about looking behind you though. "Just keep on goin' forward" he would say "and don't look back, cause something might be catchin' up with you!"


I am beginning to think that something is catching up to me, but I DO NOT want to look behind me!


Yep, I could have been the best in the world at SOMETHING. But that's in the past. So I will go on ahead and do the best I can do in the time I have left. Isn't that what we all should do?

What Robert Frost said, Please do!

Yesterday someone got me thinking about the worth of our lives. I wondered to myself if I have done anything at all in this life worth doing, as far as the world goes. I like to think that I have been a partner in raising three great children who are doing well and have great kids of their own. That’s parenting, and that has been a shared responsibility.

But, as far as anything I personally have done, it’s hard to think of anything. Oh, I started out idealistically enough. I really wanted to be a writer, but I have never had the time, no…that’s not really the truth. The truth is I have never had the DRIVE. It takes drive and determination to do what you want in life, along with a sense of single minded purpose. Sadly, I have never had that. I think I am ADD to some extent! I get started on something, and get going on it and then…I lose the excitement about it and want to move on to something else. I am a wonderful STARTER, but not a good FINISHER at all. I guess that’s the story of my life (as the song goes) in a nutshell.


Do I have time to rectify the situation? I don’t know. I tell you honestly, with the way I have felt over the last year I don’t really know. I feel like my life is mostly in the past. That’s not a good way to feel, and I know it. Please don’t worry about encouraging me though. It doesn’t work. Whatever I am going to do with the rest of my life, whether short or a little longer, it’s up to me to get the fire under the boiler and get it going. I just hope I have enough fuel left.


But, as advice for all you young ones out there: DO SOMETHING YOU LIKE DOING! Don’t do something just for the money, or just because you have to in order to get by. It will make you miserable. I have been searching for the right "JOB". I never found it, You know why? Because it doesn’t exist anywhere except inside my MIND. That’s right. You cannot find what is not there. Robert Frost talked about taking the road less traveled. All you young ones with lots of time left in your lives, PLEASE take his advice. It WILL make all the difference.